December 30, 2010
December 29, 2010
TEXTING WHILE USING AN IPAD ON TOP OF A LAPTOP
[WHAT HATH I WROUGHT?]
“Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.”- John Tudor
Oh, shut up, John. Salad Boy's having fun.
December 28, 2010
ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC: OOH-RAH! EDITION
["DID YOU ORDER THE 280ZX IN CODE RED?" "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!"]
Saw this car outside of Walgreens the other day:
Just a guess, but I think the owner was a U.S. Marine.
Yep. Definitely a Marine.
Verily I say unto thee.
The hood flags are in repose at the moment.
The killshot, as it were, was right behind the front wheel well:
Gotta admit, it's kinda catchy as sniper war cries go.
PREVIOUS ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC:
The Lion (road) King
You can pick your license plates...
Motorcycle blogging. At 80 mph.
Now with no Satan!
Graaaaaaaasssssss roof. Rusted!
Gather ye rosebud tattoos while ye may.
Eye Would Drive 4 U
Asphincter says what?
Brush it off.
Get me a truck and make it snappy.
Color me bemused.
Custom mods are cool.
It's great to be a Florida Gator. We think.
The ball cops are here. They have a warrant.
We've got wood.
Flipped off.
Timing is everything.
Haten and hogs.
Drive-by Twinkie.
Jimi Hendrix Edition.
Sit on it and rotate.
I'm your private antenna dancer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Springfield.
Orange you glad you're not this guy?
Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz.
Patriotic turtles.
Bubba's sidekick.
Goin' mobil.
G'day, mate.
Porn as a windowshade.
Jonathan Livingston Redneck.
Buc off, pal.
Such a dirty mess.
How cheep can you be?
I'm super! Thanks for asking.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Hearse so good.
Drive fast, take chances.
Riding with Fab the deejay.
Beware of the Death Explorer.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
My other car is a rocket-propelled grenade.
Live long and prosper. In an Altima.
Just two good ol' boys.
Asshats aplenty.
Nicotine is my crash helmet.
Jazz hands moms.
Ugly lug nuts.
Pretty ballsy.
My honor student can kick your ass.
Garfield mudflaps.
Horse and buddy.
IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, BACK UP AND RAM IT HARDER
[RED-HOT SNOW-PLOW-ON-SNOW-PLOW ACTION]
It's simple physics, really.
I could watch this all day.
[MORE AFTER THE JUMP]
December 27, 2010
THE 2010 CHRISTMAS SWEATER OF SHAME
[ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE SWEATER TOLLS. IT TOLLS FOR THEE]
You might remember the Christmas Sweater of Shame episode a few years back, during which I attempted to shame my dog Lincoln (also known as Doggy O'Kyle, Blackie McBlack-Black and The Dark Knight) through use of unnecessary apparel.
Anything pointless and funny once is worth repeating. Over and over again.
This year, we bought a new sweater for The Dark Knight and passed it down to his cousin Wheaton, who has been known to wear pajamas.
The results?
Depression.
And a forest of stress yawns.
God love Wheaton.
I'd lay like this on the cool tile, too, but I'm afraid it would attract attention.
Someone needed a hug.
Uhhh, Wheatie? Whatcha thinking about, pal?
Oh.
December 25, 2010
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF HOUCK
[CHRISTMAS PHOTOS WE TRIED TO TAKE BUT WHICH DID NOT SUCCEED]
December 24, 2010
OH, POINTY BIRD. OH, POINTY, POINTY BIRD.
[HAVE A MERRY ELFIN' CHRISTMAS]
The Renaissance Fair. A gift which keeps on giving.
MIRACLES COME IN SMALL PACKAGES
[TAILGATE EATING AS A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE]
Behold, the Corn Fritter Bag of Turin.
December 23, 2010
THE THINGS WE SEE AND DO NOT BELIEVE
[YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK]
Oh, I don't think there's any might about it, friend.
December 22, 2010
DOGGY MELECH YISTRAEL
[DOG OYS]
Saw these at PetSmart today:
Where were these when I was looking for Latkefest presents?
December 21, 2010
December 20, 2010
LA LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[LA LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]
My Christmas gift to you, dear Salad reader(s).
You're welcome.
