The family gourd for 2004:
And now, a picture of everything.
With only days to go in the campaign, we nonetheless continue to chronicle the bizarre imagery surrounding the way we elect a president.
What they don't tell you in the La Maze classes is that in 9 years, you'll be doing makeup for your kid at 6:30 in the morning so that he can go to school dressed up like a character in his favorite book.
So it was this morning, when I turned my kid into Shiloh. Or at least a reasonable facimile.
Knowing the danger that this blog is turning into All Zook, All The Time, I still must impart these few photos. I was in Gainesville the past couple days on business. I drove past the 34th Street wall, where generations of college students have painted messages.
This is what was displayed:
The threads are beginning to unravel.
It's about damn time.
I was in Chili's yesterday in my neighborhood, eating with my family, when the manager walks up and says, "I saw you were watching the game. I have bad news: the Gators lost."
I did not flinch.
"I am not sad,'' I told him. "Every loss brings us one game closer to firing Ron Zook."
And so it shall.
The drum beats for Zook's replacement are getting louder, now that the Gators have lost to doormat Mississippi State 38-31. Don't bother trying to log on to FireRonZook.com. Too many people are already way ahead of you.
How bad is it? We drove up to see them play Middle Tennessee last week and were shocked to see 10,000 empty seats in the student section.
I know Middle Tennessee isn't exactly FSU, but that had to alarm the athletic director, Jeremy Foley. It has seemed at times that Foley and Zook were joined in some death pact, with Foley extending Zook's contract and acting like the coach was more a relative than an employee. But you can't overlook 10,000 people who aren't buying your beer, your popcorn and your souvenirs. Even the doormat opponents brought out a full-house during Steve Spurrier's reign, if only for one quarter so we could see what kind of crazy shit the ol' ball coach would throw at them.
Like Indiana Jones snapping out of his trance in "Temple of Doom," Foley seemed come to his senses this week with one simple quote: "This certainly is not acceptable at the University of Florida."
Even my friend Rommie sent a despondent e-mail. "Why do I continue to waste my Saturday afternoons watching Gators football?"
Because, I told him. You want to be watching when Zook coaches his last game.
Joe Henderson summed it up nicely today in The Tampa Tribune:
Ron Zook is not a bad man, just a clueless one.
He doesn't cheat. He works hard.
His players seem to like him - ``We stand behind him 100 percent,'' Harris said.
But they don't play for him. He doesn't get them ready and he gets outcoached. He turns blowouts into close games, and close games into losses. He turns 24 1/2-point favorites into losers.
Were you not awake?
You lost big to MSU.
Bad things lie ahead.
If I were you, Ron,
I'd start looking for new work.
Retail sales, maybe.
A frog that had legs
Wouldn't bump its ass to hop
To see Gators play.
One question for Zook:
How can we miss you if you
Won't go away, Ron?
Ten thousand bare seats,
For a home game in The Swamp?
You call yourself "coach?"
Ha, Zook rhymes with hook,
Which is what I'd give you if
You were my head coach.
Here's an idea:
Fire Ron Zook now and hire
Teresa Heinz Kerry.
Got a blog that could use a little refreshing? The good folks over at Ciao! My Bella! are offering free redesigns to those with Movable Type, Word Press and Blogger sites. Just send them an email.
Went out to buy props for a Halloween story the other day and came across a blue wig in one of the stores.
And, you know, it just begged to be brought back to the office.
It has potential, if I can get enough people to pose, to become the Thing 1/Thing 2Project.
If successful, it could take its place in the pantheon that includes The Mullet Project, The Hulk Hands Project, The Sombrero Project (and its subsequent parts (Dos, Tres and Quatro),and The King Project.
See for yourself.
We haven't seen Saddam in a while. The kids over at Fark were thinking the same thing. So they threw down a gauntlet to Photoshop the deposed dictator in disguises he might be wearing.
Here's what they came up with:
About 10 days ago, I mentioned the Jerry Reed portion to the Georgia Music Hall of Fame exhibit I saw while flying through Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport.
Well, I've collected my photos finally. Here they are for your perusal:
Funny, but you'd think that Gregg Allmann of The Allmann Brothers would wear something a little less... I dunno... flamboyant?
Saw this on the way to work yesterday:
Why does someone feel compelled to pimp out a PT Cruiser like this? Probably because Ford doesn't make the Pinto anymore. Poor guy had to trick up a shitty car and this was the only thing he could put his hands on.
By the way, you can tell it's a limited edition by the way he put six bullet holes around the words near the left bumper.
Limited it may be. But not limited enough, apparently.
Been about three weeks since we've done this. The campaign is winding down. The images are getting weirder and weirder.
"Did you hear? Boston beat Hymietown."
As if on cue, President Bush responded to the protesters chanting, "BUSH IS THE PITS!"
Beer and babies.
Kevlar and Snuggles.
Condi and Jumbos.
Ties and guitars.
Bloodlines and blood pressure.
Fishing and fans.
Baseball and Girlie Man
Cue cards and statues.
Okay, I guess I'm supposed to feel empowered now that the Boston Red Sox have at last made it back to the World Series. I'm told by SportsCenter and every baseball writer in America that this is a pivotal moment in our nation's consciousness, the moment when we realized that we could rise up, like the BoSox, and defeat Big Bad Corporate America.
And as a member of the blogosphere, I guess I'm supposed to feel compelled to comment on it somehow.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, millionaires playing against multimillionaires is only marginally interesting to me. Even after listening to all the pre-game hype on Wednesday, after hearing Peter Gammons say that this was the most important game in baseball history [as if that means something any longer], I still only had the capacity to watch the first out and the last out. In between, I attempted to swallow my tongue with the sweet, deep sleep that only death usually affords.
That's not to say I'm not a baseball fan. In fact, I still have the 1975 glass beer stein with the Red Sox lineup on it from the American League Championship Series. I inherited it after a friend passed away about 10 years ago.
As I mentioned earlier in the week, Side Salad has turned 2.
Here are a few more of the site's "greatest hits."
Calls From Hell's Payphone
Behold The Power Of Cheese
Hang On, Sloopy
Touring Downtown: The University of Tampa
Going To See The Possum
Back To The Strawberry Festival
On Sunday Manchester United are playing their 'big' game of the season against Arsenal at Old Trafford.If you want to get a real taste for the passion this group has for the legacy of the team and the rich tradition behind it, click here to see a video the group made.
I'm not sure what is planned for Tampa by the other supporters groups.
A date for your diary would be 12th November in Manchester. The United plc AGM will be held on that day at 11 a.m. It will be a world media event.
Willie Drye, author of Storm of the Century: The Labor Day Hurricane of 1935, is back to thinking about penile trauma:
Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2004 7:20 AM
When I was a cop beat reporter in Macon, Ga., the cops always told me that dometic violence calls were the toughest to handle because you never knew what you were going to encounter. Apparently that's a universal truth. This poor schlub in Cambodia gets drunk, gets mad at his wife (what male among us hasn't done that?), throws a sandal at her, then his female in-laws hold him down and his wife retaliates by ... well, read the story:Police say woman stabbed husband's penis
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia - A Cambodian woman stabbed her husband's penis with a knife during an argument in which she accused him of being a violent drunk, police said Monday.
Tuy Narin, 35, attacked 37-year-old Chhun Saran earlier this month in Kandal province near the capital Phnom Penh, said Mang Penh, a local police officer.
Tuy Narin called her husband a drunkard, prompting him to retaliate by throwing a sandal at her, Mang Penh said. Tuy Narin's mother and two sisters then wrestled the outnumbered husband to the floor and his angry wife stabbed him with a knife, the police officer said.
The victim, who appeared to have been drinking, required seven stitches at a local hospital but the injury was "not life-threatening," he added.
The assault happened on Oct. 9, according to Koh Santepheap (Island of Peace) newspaper.
Chhun Saran withdrew a complaint against his wife after relatives intervened and urged the couple to reconcile, Mang Penh said.
HUGE CONVENTION WEEKEND SCHEDULED FOR JANUARY IN TAMPA, FLORIDA AT FIRST WRESTLE REUNION EVENTMmmm. I love me some belt replica. Can't wait to see the spectacle of weird when this thing rolls into town.
More than 60 stars are scheduled to appear the weekend of Jan 28-29-30, 2005 at the DoubleTree Hotel, 4500 W Cypress St. in Tampa, Florida for the very first WrestleReunion fan convention promoted by Bill Apter and Diamond Dallas Page. The weekend's event will feature multiple signings by many of the scheduled stars, and (for VIP ticketholders) a live wrestling card Saturday evening, plus two Q & A Sessions.
Scheduled to appear throughout the course of the weekend are Bruno Sammartino, Roddy Piper, Kevin Nash, Bobby Heenan, Mick Foley, Terry and Dory Funk, Jr., Wendi Richter, Marty Janetty, Tully Blanchard, Diamond Dallas Page, Kevin Von Erich, Bill Watts, Magnum TA, Ricky Steamboat, Abdullah the Butcher, Harley Race, Ted DiBiase, The Fantastics, Jimmy Garvin, Precious, The Midnight Express (Stan Lane & Bobby Eaton & Dennis Condrey), Jim Cornette, Cowboy Bob Orton Jr., Paul Jones, Masked Superstar (Bill Eadie), Bugsy McGraw, Jimmy Valiant, Malia Hosaka, Col. DeBeers, Kamala, Oliver Humperdink, The Wild Samoans, Buddy Rose, JJ Dillon, Mike Graham, Jack Brisco, Superstar Graham, Rocky Johnson, Mike Rotunda, Barry Windham, George South, and Kevin Sullivan, among others.
VIP ticketholders ($249 until 12/1, at which point the price will rise) will receive entrance into a Friday night Q & A Session with Foley, Terry Funk, Page, and Von Erich. There will also be a Sunday morning Q & A Session with the Midnights, Cornette, Watts, and Sammartino. In addition, there will also be several contests exclusively for VIPs including a trip for two to Wrestlemania 21, a Million Dollar belt replica and more.
We went to Gainesville over the weekend and had a chance to stop in at a favorite old haunt from our college days: Burrito Brothers Taco Co.
BBTC has been in business since 1976. It's had a long and twisted history. You can read the back story about the restaurant by clicking here.
The restaurant's Web site is pretty entertaining, especially the photos of their T-shirts taken in exotic places.
Then there are the answers to frequently asked questions:
Why don't you have guacamole every day?
We try to make guac every day, but sometimes we don't have any ripe avocados. We buy our avocados while they are still hard and green and ripen them ourselves and sometimes nature just doesn't cooperate.
If the neon guac sign is lit, does that mean you have marijuana for sale?
No, it means we have guac that day.
And, filling containers with that magical sauce,
those pintos, so fresh, that salsa so hot.
All these memories of times at Burrito Bros gone by.
But I do not miss cleaning the fryer with lye.
I lived in Alaska long enough to know that the place was full of weird stories just waiting to be told.
So it was with great amusement that I read a story of a moose found dangling 50 feet in the air, his antlers tangled in a set of rural power lines southeast of Fairbanks.
The prevailing theory is that the moose came across the sagging and swaying wires and, in a testosterone-filled moment, decided to challenge the power line to a fight, as bull moose are known to do during the rut, or mating season.
"My guess is he was in full rut and probably seen that line moving out there," and decided to fight, said Marvin Pickens, line construction manager for City Electric in Anchorage.
Workers didn't know the moose was tangled in the line until they tightened it and detected a problem.
"There was nobody there to observe this happen," said Marian, noting that workers were much farther up the line when they tightened it.
Crews can lay up to five miles of line at a time before tightening it with a giant hydraulic winch, said Pickens. It's similar to stringing fishing line through the eyes of a fishing pole, he said. The line is pulled through leaders on the crossties at the top of the power poles and then winched tight with as much as 5,000 pounds of pressure, he said.
"As you're pulling, it constantly droops up and down," said Pickens. "My guess is that he was right in the middle of one of the sections when it got pulled up."
The moose, which probably weighed in the neighborhood of 1,200 pounds, was likely suspended in the air for only a matter of minutes, said Marian.
Hoofin' a livin' the old hard way
Chewin' and gnawin' the alder away
I dig at the snow in the rain and the brief sunshine
Now I'm hung on the line
I eat trees and also flowers
My antlers are huge, now they've got power
No more lunch time...
'Cause I'm hung on the line
(Hung on the line)
Hung on the line
I feel fine
Me and my pea-sized mind
Dangling like a big Key lime
Bullwinkle never spent time
Hung on the line
(Hung on the line)
Hung on the line.
When it comes to matters of finance, I have a mind like an over-ripened casaba melon that's been left in the sun to rot.
Thank God there are people like Liz Pulliam Weston out there.
Liz is an award-winning, nationally-syndicated personal finance columnist who can make the most complex money topics understandable to the average reader. Or, at least, that's what her Web site says.
But I can independently confirm that, yes, it spaeketh the truth. I worked with Liz almost 15 years ago (Jesus Jones on a jump rope, could it be that long ago?!?!?) when we were both stuck at The Anchorage Times in Alaska. Despite her ownership at the time of a Suzuki Samurai, I can attest that Liz is indeed plenty smart.
Liz appears weekly on CNBC's “Power Lunch,” has worked for papers like the Los Angeles Times, Seattle Times and Orange County Register and writes the syndicated "Money Talk" column.
Which, of course, is why she gets to write books like “Your Credit Score: How to Fix, Improve and Protect the 3-Digit Number that Shapes Your Financial Future.”
I have two friends who have written hurricane books. I only have one who has written a book about money. There's a reason: It's tough stuff to make readable. Liz does. Go buy it.
The kids at Fark had a challenge thrown at them: come up with a costume that is as lame as the one worn by Halle Berry in "Catwoman."
You gotta love some of the results (A word of warning, not all of the images at Fark are suitable for work. Or home, for that matter):
Sadly, the Tron one is not Photoshopped.
POEHLER: In a recent interview, Matt Damon criticized Hollywood actors who only take roles in potential blockbusters, because he believes that stardom is irrelevant and that it's important to choose only interesting roles. Here with a response to these statements... a Hollywood actor.
AFFLECK: Listen, bro. We all know who you're talking about. It's not a big secret, ya know. It's been kinda a "mainstream" year for me, okay, stop rubbing it in. I get it. Halfway through watching Paycheck I went to ask the theatre manager for my money back then I remembered I was in it. Alright, I gotcha! And I know you're "not into stardom," but, help me out here. I can't seem to recall which Chekhov play The Bourne Supremacy is based on. And I'm sure they'll be studying Ocean's 12 in the film classes at USC, believe me. Cause Ocean's 11 left so many unanswered questions. Wait til you lose your mind and make two movies in a row with your girlfriend, alright? By the way, Street Cred, how's Clooney's yacht treating ya? Is there a phone on that thing I've been trying to call you for like three weeks about this Project Greenlight mess. Another thing, if the Red Socks lose this year, it's your fault cause you moved to New York, you filthy traitor!
I was combing again through my New Orleans photos and stumbled across some I shot in a cigar store in the French Quarter.
It was a great little store. Nice selection. Comfortable seating. And they had a football game on.
Not just any game. A Florida Gators football game.
In Louisiana. Deep in the heart of LSU country.
Gotta love it.
They had some great signs on the walls, too.
Bought me a nice, smooth Macanudo and smoked it while taking in the sights on Royal Street.
Well, it looks like Malcolm Glazer, owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, may be dead in the water when it comes to taking ownership of the vaunted Manchester United soccer team in England. That is, if Scotsman.com has any validity in its reports.
Who's to say why it might have fallen through. Certainly the vitriol with which the Glazier bid for the most valuable sports franchise in the world was greeted had to be a factor.
Man U fans erupted with hatred when he announced his bid for takeover. Some even flew to Tampa to protest outside of Buccaneers games.
It got so bad, they created ads to mock Mal and his family. Rev. Joe Kendall, star of the show "Pastor Cop" and 1996's Crimefighting Clergyman of the Year, sent me a couple of them:
They all have giant ears,
And Malcom has a beard.
They own the Buccaneers,
The Glazer Family.
I've seen a lot of weird press kits in my time. Even got a straightjacket with my name on it this summer.
But the one we got yesterday to promote a TV show takes the cake.
The urinal cake, that is.
First-Ever Interactive Urinal Communicator Targets Men: ´Don´t Miss Outlaws on CMT´
NASHVILLE, Tenn., Oct. 11 /PRNewswire/ -- "Target marketing" has taken on a whole new meaning in the first-ever viral marketing use of an interactive urinal communicator in America.
To help create buzz for its new landmark television event, CMT OUTLAWS concert and countdown specials premiering Friday, Oct. 29, CMT will target men at bathroom urinals in bars, concert venues, colleges and radio stations with the -- Wizmark(R) -- the world's first and only device of its kind. The deodorizing urinal drain filter cover - featuring a waterproof anti-glare lenticular viewing display, pre-recorded audio and flashing lights -- is motion-activated: step up to the urinal and the unit starts flashing, talking and alternating pictures. The units are designed to last more than 10,000 flushes.
"We're always looking for innovative ways of reaching viewers, in this case the male audience," says James Hitchcock, Vice President, Creative and Marketing, CMT. "The new interactive urinal communicator from Wizmark enables CMT to target a very captive and vulnerable audience with our humorous pre- recorded message -- recorded by a woman -- that commands, 'Don't miss OUTLAWS on CMT. You seem to miss everything else!'"
Because you never know when Mike Ditka is going to drop by the office.
Came upon a street performer on Royal Street while I was in New Orleans. It was a guitar player named Mike and his dog, Mojo.
I've been going through the 400 photos I took in New Orleans earlier this month. I keep finding chestnuts I forgot I had.
Like the Georgia Music Hall of Fame exhibit in Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport.
There were lots of great items in there - I'll share pics of them later this week - but the true gem was this rare artifact:
From: Kevin DuBrow Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2004 1:55 AM Subject: The Return of QUIET RIOT
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The Return of QUIET RIOT!
QUIET RIOT, the band who introduced the world to their groundbreaking #1 selling album "Metal Health," are back after an eighteen month absence. Driven by vocalist Kevin DuBrow, powered by drummer Frankie Banali, both QUIET RIOT founding members, the band is now fueled by longtime QUIET RIOT contributing bassist Chuck Wright and energized with Beautiful Creatures' guitarist Alex Grossi to bring you their prescription for Metal Health.
QUIET RIOT have entered into an equitable and legal agreement with bassist Rudy Sarzo, now with Dio, making it possible for the continuation of the group. Former guitarist Carlos Cavazo has chosen not to participate. Everyone concerned wishes each other continued success.
QUIET RIOT will be releasing their first ever official live CD "QUIET RIOT Live & Rare" in January 2005. It will include tracks from their 1983 Metal Health tour and the 1984 Condition Critical tour as well as three rare 1981 "demo" tracks for their "Metal Health" release.
Interview Requests: QUIETRIOTPRESS@AOL.COM
Bummer news of the day:
Christopher Reeve, the star of the "Superman" movies whose near-fatal riding accident nine years ago turned him into a worldwide advocate for spinal cord research, died Sunday of heart failure, his publicist said. He was 52.
Hey there, Coach Ron Zook,
Do you think you might just once
Hold onto the lead?
I've never received a spam that was worth anything redeemable, until today.
This joke comes courtesy of someone who tried to lodge an ad on my blog's comment's list:
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists - two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her." The first man said. "You cant be serious. I could never shoot my wife!"The agent replies, "Then you?re not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I cant kill my wife." The agent replies, "You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the womans turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didnt tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair."
South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone talk about their new movie Team America: World Police. I can't wait to see this ridiculously stupid film.
I guess the movie had to be toned down to get an R rating, since there originally was a marionette sex scene that the MPAA freaked out about.
Back after a thousand miles of this, some light and some heavy!!!!! Beautiful, but I think would get old after a few weeks, unless you liked winter sports - I'm a fisherman, and they don't bite in the snow.
I'm a freak about mascots. Always have been.
I have a new favorite:
Overheard while walking through Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson Airport:
Mother: You've never heard of the Allman Brothers?
Mother: You've never heard "Midnight Rider"?
Daughter: Is that like "Easy Rider"?
Daughter: Is it Allman, like almond?
Mother: [extended silence] No. It is not.
Saw this in New Orleans.
While I was away in New Orleans last week, something of great import happened: the Tampa Bay Devil Rays' season mercifully came to a close.
As promised by manager Lou Pinella, the Rays didn't finish in last place in the division.
But the embarrassment doesn't end there. For every silver lining, there is a cloud - even after the season is over.
Like in this story about how major league teams and former players have come to the aid of a Little League ballpark in Tampa that was hit by arson.
Seems that after Northside Little League's concession stand was torched, The New York Yankees, who train in Tampa in the spring, donated $25,000 Wednesday to the league.
Former Yankee and former Devil Ray Wade Boggs said he planned to send $5,000 on his own from The Wade Boggs Foundation for Youth Athletics.
What did the hometown team do?
The Rays of Hope Foundation is chipping in $2,500 and concession food that was leftover from the season. The team also will donate an autographed Rocco Baldelli jersey to the league so they can raise money in a prize drawing. The winner will get a ticket to a Devil Rays game next season, meet the Rays player and get the jersey at the game.
It ended Wednesday night where it began in March: in the bland, bizarrely-lit baseball warehouse known as Tropicana Field, home of baseball's most inconsequential ballclub, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. The Reverend kicked off the 2004 campaign by documenting the infamous queen bed on the turf of the Trop at Fanfest during the Grapefruit League. The Reverend documented the offbeat during the pre-season circuit, went on to enjoy many a game at the Phillies' new baseball gem in Clearwater and wrapped up the season with a Red Sox-Devil Rays match.
Rev. Joe was impressed by the never-say-die passion of Red Sox fans, many of whom filled Trop seats that usually go unfanny-ed. One Red Sox fan approached Rev. Joe after the Rays took a rare win from the BoSox Wednesday night and said he hated Devil Rays fans. The Reverend explained to this intoxicated chap that hate never accomplsihed anything and that he would be crying one more time this fall when the Red Sox would spend another autumn crying about another year without a World Series.
Here are the final baseball photos for the 2004 season. The Rev. Joe will be re-appearing on the sports beat if the owners and players of the NHL ever settle their labor impasse. For now, enjoy the following. This is Rev. Joe Kendall, out.
Looks good, right? Oddly, this half of a prime rib roast was enough to feed everyone who came to the ballpark that night.
There's something sadly ironic about the DRays having a sculpture in the centerfield mezzanine showing an outfielder breaking through the wall to save a home run from being hit out of the park. It'a slmost as if the club knew when they refurbished the Tropicana Dome that pitching would be a problem.
Note the gentleman strolling down the aisle. He is the loneliest baseball fan in the world.
Hate waiting in long beer lines? That's never a problem at the Trop.
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the 2005 pitching rotation: Malachi, Menachem, Moshe and Mordechai.
Due to the lack of customers, The Cuesta Rey Cigar Bar has been designated a non-smoking area.
Cue "Star Is Born" Music
"I wannnnt one morrrrrre loooooook at youuuuuuuuuu."
Got this e-mail yesterday:
Subject: Celebrity Auction For Prostate Cancer
Now celebrating the month of "PROCTOBER", The National Prostate Cancer Coalition and Grolsch Premium Lager have teamed up in order to raise both money and awareness for "the biggest thing in men's health" with their "Pop Art" online celebrity auction.
In an effort to be the 4,712,435th person on the planet to say this, New Orleans' Bourbon Street has some really nasty stuff going on.
Oddly, I saw no public displays of pulchritude. Must have been an off-weekend. Everyone was talking about how tame it seemed. But for all that was missing in public displays of obscenity, more than enough was made up in the shops and bars.
Here are some pics of stuff I saw in stores and on the streets. They're not really safe for work, for home or - for that matter - any place outside of New Orleans.
As a sign I saw on Bourbon Street says, if you're easily offended, don't click here:
Under the heading, It Ought To Be Against The Slaw:
ENGLEWOOD - A sports bar manager was arrested Sunday after he heaved a container of coleslaw in an employee's face, pushed and choked him, deputies said.
David W. Neuman, 44, a manager at End Zone sports bar, was charged with misdemeanor battery. He posted $500 bail on Monday and was released from jail.
Deputies said Neuman argued with employee Kevin Vietts because Vietts didn't take sauces and coleslaw to a customer. Neuman hurled the coleslaw at Vietts. The two then scuffled outside.
In trying to decipher the reasons that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Motto: We're old, we're slow, we gave away all our draft picks and we're uninventive!) are sitting on the bottom of the NFC Central with an 0-4 record, you might want to look at these statistics, compiled by my friend Rommie:
* Running back Michael Pittman’s last rushing touchdown: Dec. 15, 2002
* Fullback Mike Alstott’s last rushing touchdown: Sept. 21, 2003
* Running back Jamel White’s last rushing touchdown: December 2003, when he was with the Cleveland Browns.
* I've had as many rushing touchdowns as every one of the Bucs running backs this year. I also have as many touchdown catches as wide receiver Tim Brown.
Our long national nightmare is over, unfortunately. We got back from New Orleans late yesterday and have loads to unpack and sort out. Not the least of which was the 397 photos I just uploaded. It doesn't help that I feel like I have maple syrup clogging my veins. New Orleans is fun, but it's, um, a bit taxing.
I'm going to trickle out the goodies on the Salad Bowl here for the next couple days as time permits.
If you need any indication of what type of material you'll be seeing, take a look at this trinket, which I've dubbed "Madonna's Zydeco Washboard."